I'm irritable tonight. I spent my day half-conscious and in pain. When my kids and husband came home, I had about one hour of "feeling OK" time. Then I started coming unraveled. I got cranky at my family at dinner, and I can't seem to pull out of it. Each one of the kids was doing something that needed dealing with at the same time, I was starting to get a migraine, and in the middle of it all, The Man was trying to engage my attention in a lecture about Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan. I rather cynically observed that I wished I could be the college student. At that moment, I was serious. I was frustrated, I was angry, and I was just tired. I sat there with tears quietly running down my face, biting my tongue so I wouldn't say anything else. Except then #1 Son asked if he could have his fifth or sixth pancake and the words, "Sure, eat till you burst, see what I care" slipped out.
Gad. Who left me in charge of children? I've had these very long days (as opposed to the regular long days) for at least two weeks now, and I'm worn out. We're running low on food and money. I'm just worried. The job description for "full-time mom" includes, I'm sure, the fact that full-time means you work never-ending 24-hour shifts and you never ever get breaks, but somebody always forgets to mention that when you sign on. I love these punkins, I really do; I just wish I could get away from taking care of them once in a while.
So now I'm feeling guilty, TM never even joined us for dinner, the kids are misbehaving even worse, everything's rotten, and it's all my fault. Sigh... Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow.
Hahaha haahahahaha ha ha ha ha. Ha.
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4 comments:
I'm so sorry honey. It sounds like you are just going through the wringer backwards for the umpteenth time. Just remember, the valley WILL come, and we will go down.
Wish I could take it away.
You're in pain and your family is making you feel guilty because you're cranky about it???
I'm sorry that's happening. I hope you're feeling better soon. hugs.
I survived the bike ride and now my car is all better...YAY. Now the bike can go gather dust in the garage again. hee hee
Thanks, Sylvia. I hope I make it to the valley. I am feeling like a member of the Willey/Martin company.
Renee, nah, my family isn't making me feel guilty. My conscience is. They're just reacting to what I do. It's not pretty. (My bike is in the same place and condition as yours. When did I last ride it? What year is it now?)
Ah, hell, Snooze. I wish I had some wise things to say, but I'm a blonde. ;)
Ok, more or less used to be a blonde. Damn kid made my hair darker....now the gray will stand out when I get it (any day now, I'm sure.)
Hope you are having a brighter day.
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