Wednesday, February 14, 2007

I Love My Family

Oy. I do, I love the little guys. But sometimes, just sometimes... I want to sell them to the circus.

I'm hosting my writers group today, and I was kind of anxious about the state of the house last night when I went to bed. I was hoping I could get it all clean before people arrived. I didn't sleep very well or very long, but I had my alarm set and I was going to be OK.

The Man (TM) got up this morning and started getting the kids ready for school, and I was trying to go back to sleep. I probably would have managed it too if it hadn't been for...

TM returned to the bedroom and crawled back in bed. Much as I'd like to snuggle with him on a cold Valentine's Day morning, I asked what the heck was going on. He started with, "Um, well..." Oh dear. It's not going to be good. He continued, "You know that little bag of shredded up money?" I know it; he brought it back from a career fair last week or something. I cover my eyes, even though they're not open. "Oh no." Oh yes, they did. All over the house, but especially in the kitchen...dining room... living room floor... the places I might have guests in a couple hours. "I'm getting ready to vacuum," he said. "Getting up now," I muttered. Oy.

I didn't scream, at least not right away. The damage had been contained, so I was starting to calculate exactly how much cleaning I could get done before the meeting, when I noticed what the kids were doing. Then I screamed. "Holy cow! Are you seriously eating toast right on the table with no plates?" It sounds so mundane when I say it now. And I wouldn't have screamed except there were these huge piles of black crumbs all over the table that I was planning to use for my meeting in... a very short time. "Oh come on! Can you please be civilized?"

I was even more irritated that it was almost time for them to leave, there were no lunches made, and Pirate Boy was still in his jammies. I saw red even through the cuteness. "Aaaaugh! You could have eaten on the way to school! You can't get dressed in the car!" I say this all the time, I know I do. Or at least it feels like I do. Man. I am such a nag. This is why I don't usually get up with the kids: I'd never get through the morning without screaming. Oh, and I can't survive on 5 hours of sleep like I could when I was a college student. Oy.

So I burst into tears, partly because of the horrendous mess when the family knew I was having guests over, but mostly because I wanted this day to be a special one when I could tell them all how much I loved them, but I was so angry I couldn't get the words out.

Then #1 Son got plates out and TM vacuumed everything. Pirate Boy got dressed, albeit VERY s...l...o...w...l...y.... I took a break to calm down, then apologized and gave hugs; everyone made it out the door on time, and the meeting will go on. They're trying sometimes, but I do indeed love my family.


dorothy said...

Hugging you to pieces, honey. I hate mornings like that.

I had one when the kids were 2 and 4 that had me pulling out my hair. I had cleaned my home for an inspection and extermination by the landlord. I had just finished they ajax, lysol, bleaching, folding, dusting, nook and crannying, when there was a knock on the door. The kids went into the bedroom, and before the landlady got back there the dresser had been emptied the bed, jumped on, the blinds torn down, and crayon, applied to the walls. When she left, I burst into tears, just crying out "that was Not Nice". And then I popped in a tape of Hawaiian music a cherished, lifesaving ( not sure the kids realized it at the time) sister/friend had given me. And I shut the door on the mess and took a vacation for a half hour, crying it all out, blowing my nose, and getting back to it. Just like my big sister.

Scone said...

Oh, thanks, sweetie. I'm glad something I did helped you at that awful time in your life. You're such an inspiration to me.

Looking back over this post, I realized what a whiner I sound like. I was very tired, I know that. One thing I forgot to write this morning that I totally meant to was how grateful I am for my sweet husband. Without him, I really would have lost my mind long before today. Happy Valentine's Day to you and His Worship.

Renee said...

Sorry, but I would have been mad at TM for getting me up. Couldn't he have just vacuumed the mess and finished getting the boys ready w/o waking you up to add to your stress?
I don't think your post was whiney and you had every right to be angry with them. Off to read the other post now.