Saturday, June 07, 2008

My So-Called Life

Got an email today from my long-lost friend MJ, who's currently in transit from Budapest to Bangkok; it made me smile. We went to spy school together ages ago when we were both young and ... not exactly naive, but much less experienced than we are now. And with less gray in our hair. (Sigh.)

MJ asked me to send the URL for my blog again, so I did, but then I realized it had been a while since I updated. Well, I thought, that will give her a chance to catch up on the last few major catastrophes in my life. But I couldn't do that to her. So here's a short update. Well, that was most of it, honestly. ;-)

In other news, I've got some new clothes! Well, OK, I got these clothes last fall from my dear sister Sylvia, in a care package she sent when my life was falling apart. Most of the clothes fit fine, but a few of them (mostly jeans) were just too tight. So I set them aside wistfully and had a great time wearing the other stuff. But just lately the other stuff (including things I've been wearing since before Pirate Boy was born) has gotten too big. As in, falling off me, big. And I'm plenty big myself. So I decided, what the heck. I got out the "small" stuff. Zipped up those jeans on the first try. That was a couple weeks back. Now the "small" jeans are getting big on me, too.

Can someone please tell me why? Bizarro world is my new life.

Which reminds me, the marriage counselor doesn't want to see both of us together anymore until we're "on the same page" about why we're going to therapy. Although I agree with her diagnosis, I'm not sure about her methods. Maybe a new counselor.


Renee said...

congrats on connecting with an old friend.

sometimes weight loss isn't such a good thing...especially if it happens without you trying. A trip to the doc might be in order.

re the councelor. that sounds a bit fishy to me too...I would either look this up on the web or call around to other councelors to see if they think it sounds weird too. I don't know if you're already trying this, but you should set aside "appointments" for you and TM to talk w/o anyone else around too.
when I did the counceling thing (dh never went...big chicken!) but the councelor told me that men need time to discuss things. You can't just bring up a subject and expect an opinion on it...they need time to ponder it. I guess that means that men are slow thinkers. But the councelor said that if you don't give the time to think that men feel all defensive.

Jack said...

I guess that means that men are slow thinkers.
Sure. And women are volatile? Impetuous, right? LOL. jk. : )

I don't know, maybe there's something to the idea that men are more deliberate or need time to process or are "slow" or however you want to describe it. I do know that it accurately describes me. I don't want to be confronted with a situation where I'd better say the right thing or maybe blow something very important and I have to come up with that "right thing" on the spot. I mean, yeah, I would get defensive if someone demanded an answer immediately. Makes a "discussion" feel like an "interrogation".

Isn't talking to parties individually how mediation goes sometimes? Especially when the involved parties aren't making progress because they can't find, or won't admit to, common ground? And isn't counseling sometimes kind of like mediation? In some ways? Now I'm not saying this counselor is right to bring the two of you in seperately. I'm not suggesting you and TM aren't admitting to common ground and above all I'm not suggesting you are somehow holding back the counseling. I honestly don't know. Can't know. I'm just suggesting that maybe the fact that she wants individual sessions is not, by itself, a bad thing. Not something to stress about. Maybe it is just a normal part of the process. By all means, ask around with other counselors to find out. I'm betting their answers are along the lines of, "It depends. Sometimes."

Mama Cat said...

I suppose as a bonus, you (hopefully) wouldn't need babysitters for counseling for a while, right? One less thing to worry about for the time being.

Scone said...

Sure. And women are volatile? Impetuous, right? LOL. jk. : )

I totally admit to being both of those. TM has been such a mellow, loving guy most of our marriage, though, that it hasn't been an issue until lately.

I don't have a problem with the method of talking to us separately. Apparently that's how she gets most of her honest, candid answers, and I don't blame her for wanting to do that. I do worry that we're not only not making progress, but we seem to be regressing. Maybe it's just that TM's finally admitting that he doesn't see the point and doesn't think any of the problem's his fault-- at least on days like today, when he's walking around scowling and had everyone in tears by lunchtime and didn't see any of it.

It's so exhausting to live this way.

Scone said...

Actually, yes we will need sitters; she's going to be splitting our sessions so we'll each take half. Bother.

Mama Cat said...

Oh, well...that IS a bother. Especially since 25 minutes really isn't much time to get anything accomplished.

On another subject...Mark's wondering if you are either diabetic or have thyroid problems (both of which run in the family and cause rapid unexplained weight loss). This may be one of those times when it actually is worth it to pay the $ to go to the dr, rather than wait until you have a bigger problem on your hands. Just a thought. Of course, you may just be blessed enough to be succeeding in weight loss without really trying--which sounds pretty appealing to almost everyone, doesn't it?

Scone said...

MC: When I had this happen a year ago or so, I wondered, especially when my feet started tingling inexplicably. I did get tested for diabetes, and it was negative. The doc said maybe it was B12 anemia, and the weight loss hasn't been constant. It's just weird. I am due for another Dr. appt. soon to check my hyperactive hypertension, though. Blah.

KoryO / Joey's Mom said...

Hmm...keep us posted on it all.

And the weight loss thing must be catching since it's sort of happened a little to me, too. I thought it was just stress affecting me since my appetite would come and go. I've had the tingling thing too, and it also came up neg on diabetes and thyroid.

(I think that's the real reason doctors say they practice medicine. If I had a buck for each time I heard the doctor say "interesting....I don't know", I could afford to go to the state fair. But I digress.)

Hopefully that's all it is for you, but still see if they can check you out.