Friday, June 20, 2008

Lasting Impressions

OK, I've had a chance to do some analysis on the kids' report cards ('cause that's what I do; I can't help myself) and some reflection on our life. Pirate Boy does have overall great grades, and #1 Son does have overall lousy ones. But the year's worth of grades tell a sad story.

Even accounting for the week of strep they both had this spring that set them back in their homework, both kids' grades slipped after last fall. More specifically, after the relationship between TM and me went to hell last fall. And kept slipping.

Dang. Maybe #1 Son would be better off with Mommy dearest after all.

I'm gonna cry.


Renee said...

Don't you go beating yourself up over was not your fault! And you're doing everything you can to get back on track.
Kids do this, it's just a small speed bump in the road. They'll recover and not be any worse for wear in the end.


Jack said...

Well, even if #1 Son's grades might be better if he were living with Satan (which is no guarantee), that's not the same as saying "#1 Son would be better off." Know what I mean?

Bad grades happen. Whip the kid (well, not literally . . . but whatever it is you do) and let him know he's starting fresh next year. He'll learn that life doesn't suddenly treat you nicely just because you're upset, but life does go on and can go on well. He'll be a stronger person for knowing it.

You know, honestly, it probably is a struggle for your kids to see you and TM going through your issues. But I totally agree with Renee that you're doing what you can to get life on track. That's all you can do and it's good for your kids to see that. It's good for them to see that you don't just give up.

There's a great guy in Green Bay whom I knew through church and through classroom observations when I was certifying to teach math, who frequently used weight lifting as an analogy. "You want to get stronger so you go to they gym, right? But do you just walk into the weight room, look around satisfied and walk back out? That will get you less than optimal results . . ." You know where I'm going with that? Yeah, your kids are struggling. It hurts. They'll get strong.

Man, I hope that doesn't sound like I'm on a soapbox. It's supposed to sound supportive. You love your kids. You sacrifice for them. You worry over them, support them and teach them. That makes you a great mother.

Scone said...

Thanks, you guys. I do carry kind of a heavy burden about how our struggles may affect the kids. They are the number 1 (and 2 and 3) reason I'm trying so hard to pull things back together and make this relationship work. I hate the thought that no matter what I do, the punkins suffer. It's just a matter of how and to what extent. I hate being in this situation. I HATE it. That's probably making it harder for us to resolve things. Sigh. Even us old folks still have some growing to do, I guess, Jack.

Jack said...

Well, you know . . . what kind of mother would you be if you just shrugged it off. That's what heartless cousins are for.


Anonymous said...

Hey Scone, you're a great mother!! Don't let a one little speed bump in the report cards get you down. Sorry it's been a while since I last posted.

I've been looking for a job for the last six months and nothing yet!! I'm going insane!! Too much time to think is a dangerous thing!!

Take care!! It's an oven down here!! Can we cancel June through August??

Miss Ya!!

KoryO / Joey's Mom said...

I hate the thought that no matter what I do, the punkins suffer. It's just a matter of how and to what extent.

Errrr....nope. Sorry, Snooze, but on that point I gotta disagree.

You're trying. Sure, not everything works, and probably most of it doesn't, but at least you are giving it a good shot. You're not taking the easy way out and leaving everyone else to clean up the mess like a lot of so-called "adults". You get an A for effort if nothing else.

And as for #1 Son repeating a grade, even though everyone knows he could do better? Well, I happen to have known a guy that did that in his younger years. Sure, it was embarrassing at the time but it was his inspiration to stop screwing around and get serious.

My dad turned out ok, and in some circles, respectable, even. I bet #1 Son will too. ;)