I don't know why I'm writing this. I only have a few minutes before I have to go pick up the kids. Somehow, I've got to get food ready for my writers group banquet tonight right about the same time as I need to be picking up The Man from the bus stop. (I feel really rotten that he won't be able to go for the first time in 5 years.) I'll have to just dump everyone and leave, and I won't be home until after the kids' bedtime, and I haven't written on my novel today, and...
I have something weird in my breast tissue.
I had a second mammogram today because the first one showed an "anomaly" (whatever). The perky technician came back in after showing today's results to the doctor and with a smile told me that I was done. I almost stopped listening at that point, but it's a good thing I didn't because she went on to say that I'd have to come back later for an ultrasound--nothing to worry about, no big deal, the doctors had wanted to do it anyway... Sure, fine, OK. I'll schedule that later. I was fine, too, until she went out. Then I burst into tears like an idiot.
So here I am, just sure I feel something weird in there, trying to tell myself that just because this same thing happened to my mom and hers turned out to be nasty it doesn't mean that it will be the same for me (sure it won't), and feeling guilty for worrying about how much it will cost, since we're still bringing in very little money and Christmas is coming. And tonight I get to hang out with a bunch of wealthy people who will wonder what on earth is wrong with me.