Thursday, March 31, 2005

Punkin' Pirates

Recent pirate sightings in this vicinity:

Couple weeks ago at breakfast, our youngest stood up on his chair, shouted "Punkin' Boy, Pirate! Argh!" as he jabbed his fist into the air, clearly brandishing a sword, then LEAPT across the table to make a grab for his older brother's Pop Tart. Buccaneer Boy, being an older and wilier pirate, easily foiled the attack and saved his breakfast, to the cheering of first mate #1 Son.

Unfortunately, Buccaneer Boy's pirate ship/bed ("Revenge" of course) was damaged by recent high winds and heavy seas (aka "jumping on it") and has had to be put into drydock. The bold captain, after a period of mourning, has employed his time and crew with digging up buried treasure and threatening the medical staff caring for the Pirate Mama (aka "M"). And plundering Easter candy. And cursing the cuteness that makes people not take him as seriously as he thinks they should.

Despite his lack of a seaworthy vessel, Buccaneer Boy has been trying to turn our entire house into an ocean by covering all available surfaces (and anything on them) with water. Consequently, Pirate Mama is lacking a functional timepiece and is more than moderately annoyed with her pirate son. Darn good thing he's so cute.

Pirate Baby has also been spotted wearing red sunglasses, pirate hat, and shoes five sizes too big for him and slouching around saying "Hey, dudes!" to everyone. It may be the cutest thing you'll never see.

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A simple hot compress applied to the face is very soothing to those throbbing aches and pains of a blocked sinus, while a few drops of eucalyptus oil on a handkerchief can provide welcome relief for similar conditions. While supplements of vitamin C, D and zinc will shorten the lifespan of a common cold, a hot lemon drink is also extremely good. And be sure to cuddle-up in bed when you have a cold, as it will make the body sweat out the germs.

Cool lemon juice and honey are a great soother for a sore throat and gives the body much-needed vitamin C at the same time The juice of one lemon in a glass of water is sufficient. Melt the honey in a little hot water for ease of mixing.

A smear of Vaseline or petroleum jelly will do wonders for those sore lips and nose that often accompany a cold.

A 'streaming cold' where the nose and eyes water profusely, can respond to drinking onion water. Simply dip a slice of onion into a glass of hot water for two seconds, then sip the cooled water throughout the day. Half an onion on the bedside table also alleviates cold symptoms because its odor is inhaled while you sleep.

People prone to catarrh may find that chewing the buds from a pine or larch throughout the day will clear up their condition in just a few days.

Do you suffer from sore eyes? If your eyes are sore from lengthy exposure to the sun, try beating the white of an egg and then spread it over a cloth and bandage the eyes with it. Leave the preparation on overnight. Soft cheese (quark) is also a good remedy for this condition.

For those unpleasant times when you suffer from diarrhea, two tablespoons of brown vinegar will usually fix the problem. Vinegar can be rather horrible to take, but who cares! The problem is more horrible. Vinegar can usually be found in most people's cupboards, so you don't need to worry about finding someone to run to the shop for you in an emergency.

Sleepless? Instead of reaching for sleeping pills, which can quickly become addictive, try this: Drink only caffeine free tea or coffee starting late in the afternoon.. Go to bed earlier rather than later, as being overtired tends to keep people awake. Make sure the bedroom is dark and quiet. Use only pure wool or cotton sheets and blankets. Polyester materials can cause sweat and make you thirsty (if your child constantly asks for water throughout the night, this could be the reason).

And don't watch those scary movies just before retiring! If you still can't sleep, make a tea of lemongrass or drink a nightcap of herbal tea containing chamomile. It's easy to grow lemongrass in your garden or start a flower pot on the balcony for ease of picking. Simply steep a handful in boiling water for five minutes. Honey may be added for a sweetener.

Of course there will be times when you do need modern drugs, so if these simple remedies don't have the required affect, be sure to see a health care professional.


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