Tell Me Something...

.... when I say "Piggly Wiggly," what do you think of? (OK, when you stop snorting with laughter and talking like Dolly Parton...) More to the point, where do you think of? Sheboygan, Wisconsin? Me neither.

One for the Money

It's kinda cute how anxious The Man has gotten about money (i.e., how to get some) since my unemployment money has run out. He spent almost all his time last week running around to employment agencies and searching for jobs online, updating his resume, networking, pacing around muttering in dollar signs... you know. At this point, the best we can come up with is a 6-month stint in Antarctica, and it's looking pretty good.

On Saturday, after an outing with Captain Kid, he informed me that a particular bookstore (outlet of obscure old and used stuff) is going out of business. Unless, that is, they can find a buyer. Or a renter, even. My eyebrows shot up. "Rent? How much?" Well, he hadn't asked, so despite an itchy feeling we both had, we let it go. Yesterday, he came home from another outing. Local game/book shop is selling out. Know anyone who wants to buy it? I could just see the idea burning in his eyes. "How much do they want for it?" I asked casually, knowing there's no way on this earth we could scrape it up, whatever it is. Again, no idea.

So today, he came home after a really long outing and without any preliminaries said, "Rent: $1800 a month. Game store: 100 grand." And there was this pause. "They'll never get it," I said. "I've always wanted to run a game store," he said as if I didn't know. "No one would lend us 1 grand, let alone 100," said Henry Morgan, the realist. "You never know until you try!" my husband's optimistic side absolutely roared. Sigh. "All right. I think we have a better chance of making rent, though..."

Thus began a short discussion of the market options. I don't think it's entirely coincidental that these things came about right now. I think it's the fault of the New Mall. ;-) No, seriously, any thoughts and advice are welcome.

Precious Moments

(No, that's not a reference to the saccharinely sweet-faced figurines that were so popular in the 80s.)

Sometimes, the little stuff makes all the big stuff worthwhile.

Item 1: My little punkin looking up at me with big earnest gray eyes, stretching out his tiny arms, and saying: "Can I sit on your lap, Henry Morgan?" (Yep, pirate nicknames abound, and I am officially dubbed Henry Morgan.)

Then later: "I love you, Henry Morgan." (OK, it's weird, but so sweet in context.)

Item 2: Before #1 Son left for the summer, I was feeling a little melancholy. The Man put his arms around me and said, "I am so lucky: You are the sweetest, most beautiful woman in the world." To which I replied, of course, "I am so lucky: You think I'm the sweetest, most beautiful woman in the world."

But that's not the best part. Just then, #1 Son came over and put his arms around me too, and said, "I think you're a great stepmom."

And Henry Morgan cried.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things about This Week

1. Punkin Boy split open his head pretty badly on Sunday, but it's healing up.
2. Punkin Boy is now called Blackbeard.
3. Pirate Boy is now Captain Kidd (or possibly just Kid).
4. Today is Pirate Boy's last day of kindergarten. (Goodbye, Abby! Sniff!)
5. It's also his last day of daycare.
6. Tomorrow is Punkin Boy-- I mean Blackbeard's last day of daycare.
7. I am taking Captain Kid out tomorrow for a special "graduation" outing-- probably a picnic in the Cannon Park.
8. The Man is having his midterm tomorrow.
9. Tomorrow is #1 Son's last day of 5th grade.
10. We'll find out (maybe) whether he gets to go on to 6th.
11. We have less than 24 hours left before #1 Son leaves for the summer. We'll be doing something special tonight.
12. I've had 3 projects this week and don't feel I've done any of them justice.
13. I'm filing for disability. Today.
    
    
    
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Memory Lingers

Tonight I'm feeling thoughtful. I discovered (quite by accident) that #1 Son was assigned to bring a dessert to his school picnic this Friday. I pondered this for a bit. Not so much why he didn't mention it; he so rarely notices assignments given at school, and when he does notice, he keeps them to himself-- or only shares them with "Mommy," who isn't around to do anything about it.

Anyway, not that. It was the nature of a dessert for him that I turned over in my head for a while. See, we've taken him off of sugar and white flour in a desperate attempt to get him to settle down and pay attention in school. It seems to be helping somewhat. He's not nearly as hyper at home, anyway, no matter how hard he tries.

Eventually, it came to me: whole-wheat oatmeal-raisin cookies! I could do that. And hey, I could make a batch with chocolate chips for the rest of us. Perfect. So I set to work. I'd finished two of my projects for the week and was pretty achy, but it's just what you do. Besides, I'd been looking for something to do for the boy. He's been looking haggard lately and probably thinks we don't love him because we've had to scold him about his grades again. Sigh.

Baking cookies is my secret therapy. I get to crack eggs, beat the batter, and generally make the ingredients do my bidding. The results are always delightful, which gives me a sense of well-being and self-esteem, at least while the lovely aroma lingers.

I'm good at baking cookies. Really good. I've had lots of practice. I baked cookies at least once a week for the whole year I was going through my divorce and quite often afterward. I mostly didn't eat what I baked; I brought them to work or to parties or sent them to faraway friends. But I kept on baking. I needed to.

I noticed tonight that baking cookies (maybe it's just the oatmeal ones) brings back memories of the Hale Koa Hotel in Waikiki. Most of you haven't been there; it's for military personnel and civilians who worked with them. We always had our holiday parties there. I can see so clearly the dimming sunset over the Hale Koa and the Hilton as I looked across from the parking garage. What was I doing there, and what did it have to do with cookies, I wondered.

Then I remembered. That last December in Hawaii. I must have been baking like a fiend. I'm sure I was. I was 3 1/2 months pregnant, and my baby was going to die. The doctors were trying to get me to have an abortion, but I couldn't, I just couldn't do it. They thought I was an idiot, I suppose. Stupid doctors. I'd seen that little guy on the ultrasound. He had hands and toes and a face and was oh, so active all the time. I just couldn't.

So I baked, and time passed. When I went to the Christmas party that year, my dress was uncomfortably tight, but I wasn't going to buy something new when there was no telling whether or when I'd ever be pregnant and in need of a formal again. So I wore my maid of honor dress from Fuhzzy's wedding and tried to smile. Well, mostly I tried to breathe. That night was so hard. So hard. But I wanted to make nice with the brass, and they wanted everyone to be at the party. Most of me was there. It was the best I could do.

Then just before Christmas, the doctors and I reached a compromise: They induced labor and, after 36 hours of intense agony that was only half physical, I gave birth to a very tiny and very dead son. Aside from the birth defect, he was turning out just beautiful. He had his dad's nose. So precious. So far from my reach, though right under my fingers.

So I baked then, and so I bake now for another son, who is just as far out of my reach, it seems. He will take these cookies to the picnic on Friday, where his (part-time) Mommy will meet him and play with him and tell him she loves him and take him far away. And he will associate the smell and taste of homemade cookies baked just for him-- with her.

Punkin Sailor, Part Deux

Punkin Boy is becoming quite a pirate boy (and a good artist) in his own right. This is his favorite part of the typical treasure map: the arch rock. (That's my label at the bottom, not his. His printing is better.)

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Places I Hurt My right heel. I've had plantar fasciitis for about 5 years now. My right ankle. I sprained it badly when I was 13 and it still hurts on rainy days. My right knee. I wrecked it 3 times in the early/mid 90's. Now it goes "snap, crackle, pop!" whenever I climb stairs. My right elbow. I have had tendonitis on and off for the past 10 years. My right wrist. Carpal tunnel syndrome was diagnosed earlier this year. Both feet and ankles, which swell up painfully when I don't get enough rest. (This, as you may guess, is all the time.) The center of my back. I have a bulging disc there for no good reason. My lower lumbar area. I have a painfully swollen disc there which has been bothering me for more than 2 years and pressing on... My sciatic nerve, which was nicked during epidural administration for delivering Punkin Boy. This radiates pain... Out through my left hip and down my leg to varying degrees. Today, the pain is trying to escape out my toes. The base of my neck, where the stress gathers. My head, especially this hormonal time of month, when the migraines come. My stomach, which feels like throwing up from the pain, but usually can't. Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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Mother's Day

(Yes, I know it's a little late; I've been sick.)

I have just one thing to say about it:

The Man made me scones.

Playing Politics

No matter what some people (not to name my ex-husband in particular) say, I really am not ultra-conservative. I get the whole "If you disagree with me, you are evil" thing from both (or apparently all) ends of the political spectrum. Yay me.

You are a Social Moderate (56% permissive) and an... Economic Moderate (55% permissive) You are best described as a: Centrist Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

OK, They Weren't the Best-Laid Plans

Things just haven't turned out quite as planned this week. OK, they weren't the best-laid plans, but they have certainly gone astray.

For the past couple weeks, The Man (TM) has been getting ready for and going to finals at school. It has been, to put it mildly, hard. I'm sure it's been no picnic for him, either. But in addition to the things I mentioned in my 13 yesterday, I've had to do things like drive twice as many miles as usual, take care of the kids on my own for several extra hours (no matter how bad my back hurt), get up early so we could all leave the house at 6:30 a.m., etc., etc., etc.... day after day after day. Which is completely OK, and I don't begrudge him his education, honest, and I'm trying to be the most supportive wife ever, but once finals were over (which they were on Wednesday), we were going to take a break. Thursday, he was going to take the kids, who've been missing him lately, and let me get some rest and maybe even get some writing done. And today we were planning a date and some 3rd-birthday festivities for the Punkin Boy.

Well, first, I got a call Wednesday evening from a guy I'd worked with through my last job. He asked if I'd be available to do a freelance project for him in the next week, and I said "Sure!" After all, my unemployment benefit (such as it is) is running out this month and we really need the money. So, no problem. That's something to do while TM has the kids.

Wrong. He woke up Thursday morning feeling rotten and by mid-morning, he was the one passed out on my side of the bed while I soothed, fed, chased, scolded, and in all other ways parented our two youngest. Took Pirate Boy to kindergarten, tried to persuade the Punkin to take a nap, squeezed in a phone conference with the freelance project guy, and looked through some of the materials before dashing off to pick up the oldest kids from school. By this time, I'd started feeling the symptoms coming on, and today I was sick too. Dangit. I've gotten very little done on my project, I had a minimal lunch date with TM though I could barely walk, and barely managed to get cake and presents done for the Punkin (who thankfully is still young enough not to care).

Some Punkin quotes from tonight's present-opening phase:
A picture atlas from Grandma and Grandpa: "Here's Texas! Right next to Oklahoma."
A calculator from #1 Son: "My own calculator-- ha ha ha (maniacal laughter)! Now I can do calculus!"
A wall map of Alabama from his great-grandma: "Wow!!!!! Alabama!"
A puzzle of the United States from Mama and Daddy: "(Gasp!) The states!"

My son will someday take over the world. And the world will be better off for it.

Thanks to Carmen for This

Here's me as a South Park character. Heh.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things I Do Every Day Get up after far too few hours of sleep (if I'm lucky, about 6). Take a pill for the depression, one for the pain, and one to keep the stress from shorting out my heart again. Pray. Spend an hour and a half of my morning driving family members hither and yon. Huddle under a blanket for an hour or two, quivering from the "breakthrough" pain. Eat chocolate (usually M&Ms!) to keep the caffeine headaches at bay. Try not to worry where the money's going to come from to pay the bills. Pay the bills anyway. Spend another hour and a half picking people up from various locations in 2 cities. Take more pain pills. Try not to cry as I fight off the kids with one hand and fix dinner with the other. Have prayers and lullabyes with my hyperactive young monkey pirates, then break up fights in their room every 3 minutes for the next hour. Take one last pain pill and one more for my heart and tumble into bed, whimpering. Strangely enough, it's not as bad as it sounds. Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

#1 Son claims to have trouble sleeping-- or rather, getting to sleep. The simple combination
1) lie still,
2) shut your eyes and mouth,
3) relax
seems to elude him, though he claims to be doing all these. The problem usually turns out to be some book or other (and how can we complain about that?) and a tiny keychain laser light (ah, that's how). So The Man goes to check on him the other night, well after bedtime, and this exchange takes place.

TM: Are you asleep?
#1 Son (lying unnaturally still with hands under covers): Almost.
TM (sighing, pulls back the covers and finds #1 Son holding a small foldup Frisbee): What's this?
#1 Son: I needed something to do!

What do you even say to that?

What Do We Do with the Punkin Sailor?

My Punkin Boy turns 3 on Friday, wow! He is an amazing and wonderful child. I know that all moms are prone to say that stuff about their children, no matter what the reality. But it's really true here, and it's a source of both amusement and concern.

Amusement: Punkin the Sailor Man
Quote: "Arrr, we found Captain Kidd's treasure! Head to Maracaibo!"
Favorite activities: Plotting a course to Florida Keys, swinging down from the furniture by holding onto the curtains, swordfighting (and beating) his older brothers

Concern: Precocious Preschooler
The boy is way too advanced for his daycare class ("Those babies don't even know where Caracas is!"), but he can't move up till he's potty trained. But who can bother with potty training when there's a whole world to conquer, or at least to memorize? He is bored to tears, literally, and has started refusing to go to daycare anymore. I don't blame him.

Fortunately (?!), my unemployment benefits are running out this month, and I won't be able to take the kids to daycare anymore. And I've recently realized that I can't work more than 4 hours a day anyway without passing out from the pain, so it's not particularly cost effective to use daycare. Good news all 'round.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Perplexing Things about SCONE I've been eating handfuls M&Ms every day for far too long. I've also been losing weight for the past several weeks. I (don't really) attribute this to the Diet A&W Root Beer I drink with the M&Ms. The same day I realized that the next book in Orson Scott Card's "Women of Genesis" series would have to be about Rachel and Leah, I found the book in our local library. I cried when I finished it because it was so good, and it was over. I do this with all of his books. I hate reading his stuff because he's a brilliant writer (unspoken text: and I'm not). I'll keep doing this until I die. I'm like the Salieri of the writing world. (Talk about giving yourself airs.) I was married before, but usually I don't remember that part of my life. I sometimes forget that I had another child, too. But not as often [as I forget #9]. My mother told me ages ago that I shouldn't have children because I don't like them. I rolled my eyes the way teenagers do and said, "Only other people's children!" Turns out I was right-- mostly. I do like other people's kids if they're related to me. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. Chana 2. Surrender Dorothy 3. Poopydigs 4. Carmen 5. Prairierose 6. Denise 7. Karen

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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